Philosophical study of life, death, and nature
Confessions of a Frigid Man
In this book I am going to write about the idea that men may not feel much sexual pleasure or satisfaction, and that it is because of this lack of feeling that they become absorbed in sexual fantasies involving things like miniskirts, uniforms, “lolicon” [a Japanese term for “Lolita complex”], and rape. In order to support this assertion I will speak extensively about myself. I intend to consider this issue not in terms of a general theory of male sexuality but rather from the point of view of my own specific case.
But I hope male readers read this text as if it were written just for them. I hope female readers read it with a sense of urgency, imagining that the man they are with may be subject to some of the same psychological workings it describes. I have resolved to speak with complete frankness; I intend to explore this unknown world without any fear or reservation.
Here I would like to say a few words about how this book came to be written. I wrote two essays on miniskirts and pornography in academic journals (Japanese Journal of Addiction and Family, Vol.17, No.4, (2000), The Japanese Society of Studies on Addictive Behaviors / Women’s Studies, Vol.10, (2003), The Women’s Studies Association of Japan). Since these journals are for experts in this field, I assumed these essays would only be read by a very small number of people, but after their publication they elicited a surprisingly large response. This response went well beyond academia; part of my essay on miniskirts was even read on a late night television show with passages of text appearing directly on the screen.
I was baffled by the extent of this reaction, but one day someone pointed out to me that it was probably because I talked about sexuality in the first person, using “I” as the subject. Most books talk about sex in terms of general statements like “men are like this” or “women are like this” with the author’s own sexuality being kept off limits, and among such texts my writings stood out because I said “I am like this” without any sense of shame. This was what made my essays interesting.
I thought this sounded quite plausible, and was greatly encouraged by it. I thought it might be interesting to try to write a whole book from the perspective of “I am like this.” This book is the result of that attempt. With some minor alterations, the two papers I mentioned above became chapters one and two respectively. At times, I wondered whether it was really appropriate for an academic to write these sorts of things. On the other hand, however, I also had the feeling that it is indeed academics like myself who ought to be engaged in this kind of experimentation.
When thinking about male sexuality, what currently serves as the best point of reference is the approach taken by feminism. Feminists argue that throughout this society an unequal structure has been put in place that allows men to dominate women to their own advantage. And when it comes to sex, too, our ways of thinking and feeling have been formed under the powerful influence of this kind of structure.
In this book, however, I will not introduce these sorts of theories. Instead I will begin developing my own way of thinking and hypotheses right from the start. The decision to take this approach was not an easy one, but I ultimately elected to do so because I thought that the value of this book would lie in the presentation of a way of looking at sexuality that had never been tried before, that is, a new perspective that could provide an “opportunity” to examine these issues from a variety of different angles.
In this book I have written many things that may seem strange or contrary to common sense, but for me they are the truth. I hope that at least some of what I have to say will resonate with my readers as well.
(End of Preface)
>> Go to Chapter 1